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Hiveworks Comics
Posted October 3, 2022 at 12:00 am

May I give myself a little feedback? That first strip, rereading it now, I feel like things go too fast in only four panels. The brain doesn't have the time to really jump from action to action so quickly, and there are informations put out that can lead the focus away from what's really happening, you know what I mean? Like okay, Ramona's asking to sign a paper (that's the first time it happens, the reader could be like "oh what's this now?") but immediately we have Lillian waking up and in two panels whack Ramona with a pillow (those two panels are all right and give enough time for readers to understand the action going on) then right after that whack we're in a totally different shot, a Ramona on the ground, with the paper still a mystery, and suddenly it's Roomie on top of the bed chatting with Ramona about something exciting (which the reader has to understand immediately that she's talking about Lillian hitting someone with a pillow), and Ramona finishes with a little punchline. (that you also have to understand that it's ironic and not a true wish of ram's to be sub...)

That's a lot. And perhaps a few readers could have gotten all that in one go, but I think many had to reread the strip to eventually take it all in.

I'd like to avoid that in my future comics, to give the panels the time they need for people to read in a nice, rhythmic, easy pace to follow. 

.... that second strip though? I still love the punchline ;)

--> This is a rerun of the finished webcomic Go Get a Roomie! You can find these two strips in the old archive >here<!


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